"They Stab It With Their Steely Knives But They Just Can't Kill The Beast"

During an "ultrasound" my doctor ordered, the technician kept asking if I was okay every couple of minutes and I wasn't too sure why. Then for like a week after I was cramping like crazy. The results: a lot of funky things in my ovaries including multiple cysts, debris from ruptured cysts, cysts inside cysts and a "mass" of some sort. I wasn't too worried until I saw the measurements of those cysts. Ever played hockey? So a hockey puck is like 3inches in diameter. Ovaries are the size of a small walnut. Think about it. They showed me a picture--I'll spare you. So now I have nightmares about alien cyst babies inside of me. They sent me to a specialist who proceded to do another exam and ultrasound. And the best part is when he yanked to see how attached the cysts were. Guess who screamed and almost cried? And, yeah, they're good and attached. After that, they wanted to take some blood, so I thought they might as well do a root canal while they were at it--just for kicks. Guess whose having surgery June 6th? I'm actually stoked about it. I'm looking forward to happier periods and a couple less organs. "And I was thinking to myself, this could be heaven or this could be hell."